An Open Letter To Baby Heart

Dear Baby Heart,

I know your current location is nice, quiet, calm, peaceful, dark - not to mention you get delicious food sent your way far too frequently - but do you think that you could hurry up and come out already?

I promise that while things may not be nice, quiet, calm, peaceful or dark anymore, I will give you lots of food (and ok, quick confession - the food you are given at first may not be as delicious as you are used to - what is better than an oreo? - but the food will be tasty as soon as you are ready for the big girl stuff - and trust me on this, your daddy is an awesome chef)!

Also, if you are out HERE, I can hold you and hug you and kiss your baby nose (one more confession - you have an older brother who is currently the only grandchild on either side, so he MAY be a bit of an attention hound, but you all will adjust to each other).

Thank you for taking the above into consideration. Seriously though, hurry up - I'm excited to meet, and officially name, you!

Love,

Mama

Where's Baby Heart?

Well, this past weekend was an exciting one - our cousin Lori & her hubby Ben had their baby girl - a precious, tiny little girl named Lucy Ann!

Maybe it was the excitement of knowing Lucy was about to arrive, or maybe it was the fact that my mom had me out Christmas shopping - but I started having contractions. Painful ones - and they were 2-5 minutes apart. After a couple of hours of this, I called the doc and we headed to the hospital.

Well, the contractions and all action STOPPED. Nothing, no baby. So we headed home.

This was all taking place during C's nap, so Johnny's brothers were kind enough to come over to hang out while Christopher slept.

When we got home, Christopher was awake and wild and ready to play. He looked at us and said "Hey, where's Baby Heart?" I think he thought we would run out to the store, pick up Baby Heart and come back home (Maybe he was thinking that if we get her at Target there is a valid return policy, right? I mean, obviously with a receipt...).

End of Pregnancy...

As this pregnancy draws to a close, I sit, armed with a freshly purchased bottle of TUMS, and reflect back on the past 38 weeks of pregnancy. There are certainly things I will miss - and plenty of things I will NOT miss. Here is my pregnancy review:

I will miss the encouragement to "eat that other cookie, you're pregnant!" or "you're pregnant - you NEED that cheesecake. I bet it is just your body saying you need calcium."

I will NOT miss the morning sickness. Many people never deal with it. For others, it lasts a few weeks and then subsides. Other moms-to-be have it the entire time. I am in the middle - I have had it the entire time, but it is not a daily situation (so it could be worse, right?).

I will miss the happy smiles from strangers. Seriously, as a pregnant woman I receive more warm, wistful smiles than I know what to do with, and it is fantastic (not to mention the opened doors, offers to cut in line and assistance with lifting/carrying/holding things)!

I will NOT miss the aches and pains. Acid reflux (thank you TUMS, for your creation). Round ligament pain. Odd back & hip pain.

I will miss that while baby is in my tummy, it is super easy to be an excellent mother. Skip the alcohol, eat fruits and veggies, rest, light yoga work outs - and BAM, I am being a good mother. Once baby arrives, I have things like "making sure this tiny human grows up to be a confident, smart, kind, educated, non-pushover of a person with strong morals but a enough of a wild streak that allows them to experience life without getting into too much trouble" to worry about.

I will NOT miss turning down alcohol. I am not an alcoholic, but I love a good glass of wine with dinner, a champagne toast at a wedding, a cool beverage in my hand while I swim around the lake on a hot summer day...

I will miss the movements in my tummy. There is just something so surreal about watching my stomach bounce and roll. And I love that when Johnny talks to my stomach, she'll instantly start wiggling and bouncing to the sound of her daddy's voice.

I will NOT miss the feeling of "Great. I'm on the floor. How am I going to get up?"

I will miss the excitement of a specific day to look forward to. For nine months, my universe has been centered around Thanksgiving Day. After November 25, 2010 comes and goes I will just be back to wishing that time would slow down.

I will NOT miss the constant remarks on my appearance: "You look great for someone who is as pregnant as you are!" "Are you sure there is only one in there?" "You've gained, what, 30 pounds?" "Mind if I stand here and rub your belly while I talk really close to your face?" (OK, the last one wasn't appearance related, but I won't miss that either)

I will miss the name game! I love talking about names, thinking about names, creating name lists... Soon, we will just have a baby with a name and no more lists to review.

I will NOT miss the worry that something could still go wrong - I can't wait to just have the baby girl safely in my arms, where I can see her face, touch her skin, kiss her nose...

OK, well - miniature clothes have been hung, sheets are washed, diapers are ready to be changed - now I guess we just wait....

When 2 Year Olds Talk...

Each morning when I drop off Christopher, he asks me to sit at the pre-school breakfast table with him and his friends. I am a sucker, so everyday I stuff my 9-month pregnant body into a teeny tiny chair and sit to chat with a group of two-year-olds.

Today, the little ones were talking about their baby siblings.

"I have a baby Brody..."

"My baby broder is sleeping..."

"I have sister!"

To all this, I said: "Did you know that Christopher is going to have a baby sister soon?"

All of them stopped and looked at me with blank expressions.

Then, Christopher's friend Chase nodded and said: "Yeah, Baby Heart." (Read this story if you don't know how C came about calling Baby Girl B "Baby Heart.")

So, apparently, Christopher and his school buddies sit around and have really clear, serious conversations about their little siblings (and frequently enough to know that this baby is "Baby Heart")! How cute are they?

Depressing Middle of the Night Thought

So, I know I said I wouldn't whine at the end of this pregnancy, but I am a liar (just ask poor Johnny, he hears every bit of my whining).

Well, last night I was tossing and turning around in bed. It was 1 a.m., 2 a.m. and then at 4:18 a.m. I had a ridiculous thought: "I can't wait for this baby to be born so I can finally have a decent night of sleep..."

That thought immediately made me sit up straight in my bed and realize that I have a LONG time until I have a decent night of sleep. WHAA!

I want the magical ignorance of my first pregnancy back - at least back then I had no clue just how exhausted we would all be in a few weeks...

Rubbing My Tummy

Christopher will occasionally pat my tummy, but he seems unsure about the baby moving, so he never touches it for very long.

Yesterday, we were hanging out - just the two of us - playing with Halloween Play Dough. He set his portion onto the table, looked at my tummy and reached out to touch it. He stood with his tiny hand on my tummy for a long time, with a look on his face said (at least to me):

"Why does everyone rub Mama's tummy? I see nothing exciting going on." He kept his hand there for a while and rubbed a little, said "Hi Baby Heart" a few times, and asked me a few questions ("She wiggling in there Mama?" "She coming to live here with us Mama?" "Baby Heart can hear me Mama?"). It was a really sweet few moments in time...

Side Note: It is not all tummy rubs and snuggle time. Later that evening, he excitedly threw dirty, cold bath water into my face and thought it was the most hilarious thing ever - but I have to hold onto and remember the sweet moments, right?

Just One Toe?

The other day we were talking to Christopher about his new baby sister.

"Now, you get to help us take care of her. You can hug her, kiss her, tickle her, snuggle her."

"I kick her too?"

"No Christopher, you don't want to kick the baby."

He sat thoughtful for a moment and said:

"Can I kick her with just one toe?"

Naming a Baby

Well, it was easy with Christopher. I had spent my whole life imagining baby names, so when I was FIVE weeks pregnant, I made Johnny sit down and decide on a name with me. We wrote out our favorites, compared lists and decided on Christopher for a boy, Audrey for a girl. 33 weeks later, we hear "It's a boy!" and he is instantly Christopher James.

It has not been that easy with this pregnancy. Maybe because I know it is my LAST time deciding on a baby name? Maybe because I know it is a girl, so it makes the name more real or something? Maybe because Johnny is a huge name rejector and says NO to everything I come up with? Anyway, we are down to the wire - 4 weeks until my due date!

So, I will add a little poll to the blog, feel free to vote on your favorite - NO NEGATIVE COMMENTS PLEASE. Remember - you may hate the name and feel like I should know you hate it - but in the back of my mind, I remember every bad thing everyone has said about the names, and it can get awkward if the name we choose is the name you told me you think is boring or stupid or reminds you of a trampy girl from high school...

Vows...

Well, another vow is broken. NO, nothing serious - but I seriously need to stop making vows to myself (silent our otherwise).

The day that my dear friend Kori asked me to be in her wedding, I vowed to NOT be pregnant. The prospect of an open bar is a quality reason for family planning, right?

Here I sit, 8 months pregnant, sipping water from the open bar

When Christopher was a newborn, I vowed to not spank him. Why? Because I, a woman and mother of the new millennium, would use my words and reason to rationalize with my baby as he grew up. As I stared at my tiny sleeping newborn, I never imagined the day (in the not so distant future) when he would possibly run into the street, where cars drive, and ignore my cries of "Stop! Freeze! NOOOOO!" When I finally got my hands on him, after I covered him with kisses, he was lucky I didn't strangle him.

As I stared at that tiny little newborn (see his sweetness in the picture
below), I also never pictured this day.

A third promise - I would never, ever, EVER call my husband "Daddy." I thought it was weird, and for a long time after C was born Johnny was never referred to as Daddy, Dada, Papa, etc.

About a year ago, Christopher was in the bubble bath and wanted Johnny to come upstairs. He called "Daddy! Dad-dy!" Johnny didn't hear his cries for attention so he yelled: "JOHN-NY!" He then spent weeks calling Johnny by his first name, me by my first name. Johnny and I immediately started with "Mommy" and "Daddy" - and now it is just who we are...

Hanging out with "Daddy Johnny..."

My latest broken vow? During the magic of my first pregnancy, I couldn't understand the craziness of other end of pregnancy ladies. I vowed to never complain.

Well... I am sorry and ashamed to say that I am a TOTAL end of pregnancy complainer. "When is it going to happen?" "I'm sleepy..." "I'm hot..." "Acid reflux IS not fun." "Yay, I may be weeks away from delivery, but here I am - still battling morning sickness! Yay, pregnancy can be awesome." "I can't drink at Kori's wedding - whaaa!"

Now, I would NOT change the pregnancy for anything in the world - I feel honored that I can even have children - and then at the end of the 40 long weeks, I get a really awesome prize. BUT, stay away from me until the baby arrives - turns out I am a total whiner.

40 Weeks

Tonight we are going to visit Grandma Barbara and Papa Karlos (also known as Ganma Barbala and PaKarlos).

Christopher is VERY excited to see them, and talked about the visit all night last night.

He also must have overheard a me saying that pregnancy lasts for 40 weeks, and that 40 weeks is a LONG time, because this morning on the way to school he said:

"No school today. I go to Ganma Barbala's house for 40 weeks, ok Mama?"

Playing on a dirt pile at Ganma

Barbala's - no wonder he wants to
stay there for 40 weeks!

Todays Perk of Being a Mama - Awwwwww.....

Sometimes your baby does something so cute there are no proper words to describe it.


Thank Heavens that moments like this can be captured for forever...

Tiny Pink Clothes

There is just something absolutely irresistable about tiny pink clothing... Can't believe that in a few weeks we're going to have a little baby girl wearing these jammies, hats, booties. We can't wait!

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You Know You're Pregnant When...

You know your pregnant when you walk out of work at the end of the day, look at your reflection in the car window & notice LUNCH crumbs sprinkled on your neck and chest.

Did my sweet coworkers not see the lunch remains - or did they just assume I was saving something for my drive home? :)

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Today's Perk of Being a Mama - You Get Coffee Mama?

Through the first 27ish weeks of this pregnancy, I had really bad morning sickness (granted, it DID get a little better each week). Through the first two trimesters, the only thing that seemed to settle my tummy was this delicious tea from Starbucks.

Well, I was sick several times a week for a long time - so on the way to taking Christopher to school, I would frequently find myself in the Starbucks drive-thru ($4 a visit? Who cares - I needed to settle my tummy, right?!). Christopher would always ask what we were doing, I explained we were getting coffee (he doesn't get what TEA is yet, coffee is just easier to explain).

As everyone knows, Starbucks puts some random addictive chemical in all of their products. Now that I am no longer sick, I should stop going - but does that stop my car from driving up to the order window at the same (or maybe even increased) frequency as the days of morning sickness? UM, no.

Sadly, because of my addiction, whenever we drive by a Starbucks and don't stop, Christopher says: "You get coffee mama? You get coffee?!" He recognizes the darn logo!

Baby Girl Room

The theme of the room is pink walls, pretty flowers, butterflies, girly, girly, girly!

The rocking chair has been in the family for forever. It belonged to my amazing Great Grandma - we just recovered the fabric, shined up the wood a little. My favorite touch? The photo next to the lamp is of my Mom as a 3-4 year old rocking her baby sister (My Aunt Betsy) in the same chair.

The entire room, basically done.

Sweet Talker

Christopher's version of snuggling on the couch...

Well, I am tired most of the time, but especially tired on Monday mornings. At the same time, a car ride to drop C off at school is especially entertaining - he never fails to say something that makes me laugh.

This morning, he was also really tired. We brought him to our room to get dressed for the day, he hopped off of our bed and went back to his room to lay in bed.

Well, on the way to school he said, in a nice, sweet, normal voice:

"Mama, no school today. We go home and snuggle."

He is such a sweet talker - it took every ounce of will power I had to not turn the car around and curl up on the couch with my baby. Then I realized he was full of lies - he would have snuggled me for 15 seconds - and then he'd be ready to play....

Baby Heart

To ease my worried early pregnancy mind, I borrowed a pocket doppler from a friend. This would let me listen to the heartbeat whenever I wanted to - which, before I started getting consistent punches to ribs, was a LOT.

A few times, I asked Christopher: "Chris, do you want to listen to the Baby's heart?"

Because of that question, Christopher started calling the baby "Baby Heart." The name has just stuck, and that is what we call her too (if we don't hurry up and decide on a name in the next few weeks, I guess she'll just be Baby Heart for forever).

The other day, Christopher was running around the backyard. I was sitting, watching him run back and forth. He stopped, ran up to me, looked at my tummy, put his mouth to my belly button and said:

"Hi Baby Heart. What are you doing? You swimming in Baby Heart's room? I Christopher!" And then he zipped away.

Today's Perk of Being a Mama - Compliments

My hair is up, but at least I have a dress on, right?

In the past few weeks, my sweet little guy has taken to complimenting me.

"Hair down mama." I, being his humble servant, immediately take my hair out of the ponytail. He took a good look at me and said: "Ooh, pretty mama."

Since it is a billion degrees outside and I am hot and pregnant - I have taken to wearing dresses and skirts every single day of the week. Without fail, every day that I have a dress or a skirt on, he tugs at the bottom of the skirt and says: "Pretty dress mama, pretty dress."

This Really Happened

I woke up in the middle of the night with a horrible migraine. I am used to them, but they can still knock me out - so I decided to sleep in a bit.

We got up at 7:30, so Chris thought it was a fun, stay home day. He was NOT a happy boy when I took him to the car - so he pouted "NO CAR" in the driveway. I walked to get him and he ran away from me. When I finally caught up to him in front of a neighbors house, it was a major struggle to get him in the car seat.

Once in the car seat, I attempted to strap him in. Mind you, he is 2 - but he is 31 pounds of sheer muscle - couple that muscle with anger, and he is unstoppable. A teacher once told me he is the most determined little boy EVER - which will be a good trait for when he is having trouble with school work or a job or something, but is bad NOW when his focus is being freed from his seat.

So, here I am (head pounding), attempting to strap him in so I could get to work. Here he is, kicking, wiggling, scooting. I wanted to get between his seat and the passenger seat, but being as pregnant as I am, I couldn't fit. Between his wiggles and my pleading, I made the decision to hoist a leg over his seat to keep him in place (thank you prenatal yoga, but I wish I didn't have a dress on today).

Well, my hoisted leg was an obstacle that totally set him off. He decided at that moment to scoot down as far as possible - and ended up nearly choking himself on his seat belt strap. Still mad and kicking with all his might, he would NOT scoot back up (and I couldn't scoot him).

I always vowed to only spank in life threatening situations (I am sure this "vow" will change with each day, year, child), and for now, this felt life threatening- I mean, he was choking himself! I couldn't really get his bottom (he was sitting), so I swatted at it a few times with a pathetic force. I couldn't tell he didn't notice what I was doing, so I said (maybe I yelled): "I hope you know I am SPANKING YOU RIGHT NOW!"

I rarely break a sweat, and I here I was, standing the garage, in a full blown, leg-up, looking for a bottom to spank, dress on, 75% humidity, 6 months pregnant, neighbors watching, sweat.

After my spanking attempt, Christopher stopped, looked at up me and I think he almost laughed. So I took down my leg, straightened my dress and buckled him in.

Ah, motherhood...